Babies?

Treated like a fool and having people laugh in my face, tease me and slander my ideas when I have passion and focus for something that I believe in, have thought over and researched. Knocked down, defended the idea, had the debates and honestly felt as if I was "farting against the wind". All for a life.

I was born in South Africa for a purpose, I am a true South African and unbelievably proud of my roots. Was I put here to purely exist? Were the "whites" of my generation just left in a country to survive? Is it not in our capacity to diversify and love? Does helping and trying to make a dent in the good of the world only specify to your own race? Being "religious", "Christian", "church-going" - do these qualities not enter into all facets of life, your country, the world? As speaking to more people in all these years that I have felt this desire - I am continuously met with the blank look and "WHY?" The majority of whom I have believed to be "good" people, just do not get it, or rather show major defiance to my choice of future.

Was I bred to breed? Was my sole purpose to eat, sleep, work and die? Oh and populate an over populated earth? Is something that burns with goodness in my heart really so wrong on so many levels to so many people? Will I have friends on this earth should I choose not to breed, not to populate, go against the grain, make a difference in a tiny souls life, make a future for a being that was not offered the choice or privilege that we were offered granted.

Do not ask my why I want to  adopt a child. Just walk away, turn and remove yourself from my life if you cannot show me an ounce of your respect and support. Especially should it bother you of what race I would choose - Did you get a choice of your colour of family? Would I rather face the hardships of raising somebody else's child, or the hardship of bearing a child with Down Syndrome, would I rather face the hardships of having another argument with a narrow minded empty vessel that cannot share love and sees imperfections or pigment before considering the joyful possibilities for the life of myself and the child, regardless of it growing within my womb or within my heart...

I read a few blogs related to adoption, oh how my heart yearns to take babies into my home. I do not consider that I am single, that my budget is not flexible or that my home is not equipped, these children need a future and I am eager to begin. Today the Blessed Barrenness (not yet tagged, I need a bit more confidence in this blog...) tweeted about her option of a 3rd child, one of her daughters' sister, and the social worker needing to place her. My heart went THUMP, I want to take her! This however is not an option, I am not yet even in the system, but what do you do when there is a child without? Without a home, without a parent, without love...

I need this child, as much as he/she needs me.